All Fired Up!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about hypocrisy. Since I was a kid, I’ve had a knack for recognizing it when I see it. Adults would say something, but behind closed doors do the opposite. When they thought no one was looking, the mask came off and that ugliness came shining through. And it is ugly, hypocrisy.

Maybe it irritates me now, more than ever, because I’ve encountered it on a few occasions surrounding the adoption. Really? International adoption? That’s what you get fired up about? You don’t want to question my single parent status, my lackadaisical approach to housekeeping or how I expect to properly feed a child when I eat popcorn and cereal for dinner at least three nights a week? If anything, you should be questioning my parenting skills. Aren’t there bigger fish you could fry? Or, I don’t know, a billion other, worthwhile causes that deserve your passion?

On a few occasions, I’ve had people engage me attempting to challenge my decision to adopt internationally instead of domestically. First, I should tell you—I don’t debate. I’m not going to try to win you over with facts and statistics if you don’t agree with me. You’re entitled to your opinion, just like I’m entitled to think (to myself) that your opinions are stupid. You can talk all day long and I’ll respectfully listen but unless you have some very potent arguments, you won’t change my mind.

Even my Mom has encountered someone who was upset that I’ve chosen to adopt a child from Ethiopia. “Why doesn’t she adopt from America, there are plenty of kids here that need help!” And they’re not wrong. There are plenty of children in the US that need help. Believe me, if I felt that God was calling me to adopt domestically, I would be all over it.

But honestly, why would you question it? I’m still trying to help someone in need and isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Didn’t Jesus direct us to take care of the orphans and the widows? I don’t recall any stipulations regarding their location being involved in that scripture. “Uh take care of the orphans and the widows but only if they are within a 50 mile radius of your own zip code. The rest are on their own,” sayeth the Lord. Don’t bother looking that up, it won’t be there. And ps. if you’re so fired up about helping kids in the US, what exactly are you doing? Are you donating to charities or volunteering? What are you doing every day to lessen a child’s suffering?

What irritates me the most is when so-called “people of faith” try to bring me into the same discussion. Honestly, brother (or sister)? You don’t get to pick and choose your calling. And you, of all people, are supposed to know that! You can pay faith all the lip service you like, you can post verses and inspiring messages on your Facebook feed, go to church every Sunday, praise God with both hands lifted in the air-- but I ain't buyin' it. You can do all of that and still have a heart as cold and black as stone. You’re so blinded by your prejudices that you don’t see the good that can come out of helping one child no matter where he’s from.

There are millions like him in situations you can’t even comprehend. There is no safety net for him, there is no foster care system or group home. If no one steps forward, he will live on the streets, be sold as a sex worker, get hooked on drugs or die of an easily preventable disease. But you won’t help or support those who do because he wasn’t born a US citizen? Lord, have mercy. If that's really how you feel about it, could you just keep your questions and your opinions to yourself? You're making the rest of us look really bad.