Dearest Eli-
Oh, my love, again it has been so long since I’ve written.
That doesn’t mean I don’t think about you every day and wish you were here with
me. There is so much I want to show you and tell you… my arms ache from their
emptiness.
It’s nearly June here and it’s lovely. The weather has
finally broken and there are signs of a long lost Spring everywhere. Spring in
Holland means Tulip Time! Tulip Time is a festival that brings the whole city
to life. Tourists come from far and wide, driving very poorly, to watch an
entire city celebrate Dutch culture. Parades, dancers, flowers, carnival food—it’s
quite the spectacle.
The past couple of years, I’ve watched the children’s parade
through tears. To see the little children dressed up in their costumes,
marching proudly down the street makes me miss you horribly. It makes me wonder
what it will be like when you come home. I think of you, my handsome Ethiopian boy,
celebrating Dutch heritage, wearing a puffy cotton ball beard and it makes me
laugh hysterically. Of course, I won’t make you march in the parade if you don’t
want to but I kind of hope you do-- because of the ridiculousness of it.
I often wonder what you’re like. I know what I hope for, but
I also know it’s not fair for me to put those expectations on you. I’ve been
reminded so profoundly lately that you have to let people be who they are.
Trying to impose your will on someone or change them to better suit your needs never
works. If you’d rather wear the sailor suits your Aunt Sassy has in mind
instead of the fedora and suspenders I have picked out, then I am cool with
that. I want you to grow up with a strong sense of who you are and an ability
to find the humor in just about every situation (namely those sailor suits).
Most importantly, you will know that you are a beautiful
child of God. And that the crazy lady? The one laughing and crying during the parade? That's
your Mama and she loves you very much.
Until Next Time Dear Boy,
All my Love --
Mom
