Dear Eli-
Well, my love, we’ve moved up again—one spot. We’re 59 on
the list. I’m hoping one of these days we’ll find a happy medium between moving
up nine spots or just one. But it’s all in God’s good timing. Every step gets
us closer and closer.
Things here are snow covered and cold, Christmas is only a
week away. The sights and sounds of the season are in the air but your mom is
just not feeling it. The joy that I should be finding in this season seems so
far away. I am conflicted. On the one hand, we celebrate Jesus’ birth by giving
gifts, singing hymns and spending time with family (there’s also a jolly old
fat man but we’ll sort him out another time).
On the other hand, we as a society have turned Christmas
into a celebration of mass consumerism where more is never enough and gluttony
abounds—it’s sickening to watch. I confess; I have been just as guilty at times
of falling lock-step in line with the masses. I catch myself getting wrapped up
in the energy of it all and soon something nags at me, pulls at me and I can’t
quiet it.
My thoughts turn to you, as they often do but this is
different, this crushes me. I wonder if you’re warm enough. Do you have enough
to eat? Do you have someone to comfort you? Are you well taken care of? Are you
scared or hurt? While I’m here warm in my house, with plenty of food to eat and
friends and family to keep me company, you are there. You’re going through only
God knows what and there is not one thing I can do about it. It. Crushes. Me.
I would give everything I have for you to be here. I feel
helpless. So I pray, it’s just about all I can do. Pray and trust that everything
is happening according to God’s will. I pray that you’re well taken care of and
protected. I pray that next year, you’ll be here with me, we’ll be able to
celebrate together and there will be joy.
Merry Christmas, son!
Until next time, all my love-
Mom
